Dear Readers,
The bulk of this post is about blog trolls and a little etiquette guide I put together.
However, there is also an update on the Copley Square post. Guys, you know how, when a new building goes up in your town, you forget what was there before? Well, that happened to me here with Copley Square. It fits in so seamlessly that it’s not especially memorable. But it was never meant to be.
Remember, originally, Copley Square was not a destination; it was a grassy median separating Huntington Avenue from Boylston Street and Trinity Church.
Anyway, I found some pics of how it was before and immediately felt completely heartsick. If you’d like to see the photos and weep, I’ve added them to the Copley Square post from Sunday. (Note: I’ll add this in later.)
Several gorgeous photos of the square before the backhoe and wrecking balls came along show all that was lovely, gracious, and appropriate for its surroundings—fondly remembered by thousands of people.
As a blogger, I’m blessed to have received thousands of wonderful comments.
The comments are often the best part of the blog post.
Most are incredibly thoughtful and immensely kind. These comments mean the world to me—especially in a profession where 99% of the work happens alone, at 2:00 AM, with nothing but a cup of hot chocolate and an overworked laptop for company.
And I want to be clear: I’m not fishing for praise or looking for sympathy. Not at all.
Thoughtful criticism? Fine. Disagreement? Fine. In fact, I welcome it—it’s often how we learn and grow.
But then… there are other comments. The ones that are so deliciously illogical, so un-self-aware, false, misinformed, and designed to invalidate my message… well, it makes me wonder why they don’t volunteer to write the blog for me.
And even more than that—why on earth are they reading something they claim to hold in such contempt?
Which brings me to today’s entertainment: two blog troll specimens (anonymized, of course) who’ve graciously provided us with a hands-on etiquette lesson.
Laurel’s Etiquette Guide for the Terminally Clueless (AKA: The Blog Troll Playbook)
Rule #1: When lambasting your target, accuracy is crucial.
Let’s begin with Case Study #1, a gentleman I fondly call “Paper Palace Dude.”
Here’s what PPD had to say:
New comment on your post “Can You Fix An Open-Concept Floor Plan? Yes, You Can! Parts 1 and 2” Author: PippaD
Comment:
You make stuff up.
It isn’t cheaper to build a house with an open concept floor plan. It is absolutely not true. It is much cheaper to build walls than to engineer and build open concept houses. Walls are cheap.
Steel beams and laminated beams are expensive to purchase and to install. Architects and engineers need to be more creative running utilities. Walls are cheaper solutions to these problems. The open concept is what consumers want and that is why builders build them.
People like to live and entertain in the kitchen. Many of the floor plans you “fixed” are what architects call ideation drawings or paper palaces.
An architect didn’t draw them.
There are no blueprints and most only work on paper as they would be too impractical and expensive to build. You weren’t just shooting fish in a barrel. You were shooting dead fish in a barrel and missing because you started with a false premise.
Research and fact check. Don’t be Durner and Kruger. Look at the older houses that are being renovated to have an open concept so you see what looks like a stripper pole in the middle of the great room or a big ugly exposed bream runs through the center of the house.
***
Darling Paper Palace Dude,
First, it’s Dunning-Kruger-Effect, not Durner. If you’re going to accuse someone of ignorance, spell it correctly.
Second — “Bream” is a fish. Perhaps you meant “beam”?
As for your points:
- Walls are “cheap”? Tell that to the contractors who framed and finished mine. It took months.
- Open concept is what “people want”? Some people also want gas station sushi. That doesn’t mean it’s the majority—or a good idea.
Let’s talk about ideation drawings.
An ideation drawing is a quick sketch that expresses an IDEA—also called a concept drawing. My plans, although conceptual from a building perspective, are grounded in solid fundamentals of residential interior design and space planning—an industry I’ve been involved in since 1988. I have major creds, but I don’t like to be (too) self-aggrandizing.
*These are designs to make the spaces far more functional, private, quieter, and live larger. (Yes! More rooms can make a home seem larger.) They offer greater flexibility for both current use and future resale purposes. Oh, and some folks don’t want their bedroom to smell like sautéed onions.
“Paper palaces.”
Again, you’re way off base. Paper palaces are architectural visions that are grandiose in scale and materials, and generally impractical, if not impossible, to build. Think adding a gilded 20′ x 40′ ballroom tacked onto the back of a Boston brownstone.
My drawings are the opposite—they add much-needed practicality, like a place to hang one’s coat other than the back of a chair.
What I’ve shown my readers is how to take an existing professionally designed floor plan and add walls—some small, some not—creating a sense of entrance, opportunities for storage, better flow, and all the benefits mentioned above.*
Listen carefully, Paper Palace Dude.
I see that you’re not an interior designer or an architect, and from your remarks, it appears that you’re not well-versed in the terminology either.
But hey, keep telling women who’ve been studying and working in their industry for over 37 years that they don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s going great for you.
Wishing you a beautiful day—perhaps in a room with an actual door.
Rule #2: If you’re going to insult, for heaven’s sake, spellcheck first!
Blog trolls are known for lousy spelling. It’s like telling a brain surgeon what a “scapelle” is—or a “sizzers.”
Enter Case Study #2: “Sam, The Patron Saint of Overpriced Insipid Cupcakes” AKA: Cupcake Sam
Cupcake Sam writes:
Well, aren’t you the one, Laurel. I will suggest your name to Mayor Wu for city council for future projects with all your expertise. You haven’t posted anything this tacky since your scathing review of dry pastry at Fleur Bakery. Are you still allowed there? You would kick someone off your blog if they were as critical as you. I’ve noticed that now your renovation is complete, your blog has been very boring/repetitive. Hope it gets better & back to what you think you know.
Oh, darling Cupcake Sam, I’ll tell you what I *think I know*.
I think I know that the store you’re referring to is called Flour Bakery, not Fleur. And yes, I’m still “allowed” there—although I haven’t set foot in a Flour Bakery since that experience, and never will again.
Oh, wait, that’s not true. There was one time in the winter of ’23 when I cut through the one on Cambridge Street to escape the brain-freezing wind. I do recall that the cupcakes hid their Crisco-laden heads in shame.
Above is the horrid cupcake. And take a guess where I attempted to eat it? Common’ I know you know.
Incidentally, a cupcake should be more than a dry, overpriced hockey puck with no hint of butter, a fake aftertaste, and mounds of high-fructose corn syrup-laden, hydrogenated palm oil frosting.
Cupcake, please understand—I’m known for speaking my mind.
My readers appreciate this, even if the truth sometimes makes them a little uncomfortable.
But also…
If you do not enjoy my blog and find it boring, you’re under no obligation to read it. No one should force you to spend time on something you disdain.
Rule #3: Cupcakes (food) for thought, Cupcake.
If you’re going to malign someone on their own blog, please consider the possibility that you’re doing the very thing you’re criticising.
Rule #4: Avoid hypocrisy—it’s not a good look.
To accuse someone of being “too critical” or “tacky” while simultaneously delivering a deeply personal, public takedown is… well… it’s like complaining about the awful food in a restaurant and, in the same breath, declaring the portions are too small. (Yes, I stole that from Woody Allen.)
Rule #5: Critique the cake, not the one who’s eating it.
If you disagree with my opinion, say so! We can discuss. But back it up with evidence. We can even disagree passionately. Going after me or anyone personally for stating an opinion on their own blog is as atrocious as deliberately selling rip-off artery-clogging cupcakes.
One final note.
You’ll never see me directly insulting an identifiable person unless they remain anonymous. I critque things. Sometimes, people who have those things might take offense and think I’m insulting them directly. I’m not. My opinions on things are my own, and you are free to disagree.
The best way to handle disagreements? Use the word I.
For example, you might say:
“I’m sorry you had a bad experience, but I adore the cupcakes at Flour because…”
Not:
“You haven’t posted anything this tacky since your scathing review of dry pastry at Fleur Bakery.”
To be crystal clear.
I do not kick people off my blog for respectfully disagreeing or being critical about things. I kick them off for condescending, holier-than-thou behavior towards me or other readers.
In closing:
To my two anonymous muses: thank you. Your unsolicited feedback is a masterclass in what not to do. It’s today’s lesson in etiquette for blog trolls, entertainment for thousands, and a catharsis for me.
I wish you the very best in your future endeavors—be they misnaming bakeries or confusing architectural terms. Your feedback, while not exactly useful, is an excellent reminder to my readers: if you must criticize, at least make it entertaining.
Thanks for the great blog post material!
Readers, please enjoy the map I created, which shows the location of Flour Bakery and my route to Copley Square when I tried to enjoy my cupcake.
Okay, it’s time to move on to happier topics.
xo,
***Please check out the recently updated HOT SALES!
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To facilitate this, some readers have asked me to put
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Please click the link before items go into your shopping cart. Some people save their purchases in their “save for later folder.” Then, if you remember, please come back and click my Amazon link, and then you’re free to place your orders. While most vendor links have a cookie that lasts a while, Amazon’s cookies only last up to 24 hours.
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19 Responses
Har har har har har!
I actually put that Woody Allen quote in my notes to use at the appropriate time! That was, as usual, excellent and entertaining writing.
And thank you for exposing something I have hated about most bakery goods for decades – tastes like crap. Not a hint of butter. How people are hoodwinked into eating it, and spending a small fortune, is beyond me.
Bravissimo
Laurel, sadly some people are jerks – and the anonymity of writing comments brings out their “jerkiness”. For some reason these foolish people believe anonymity gives them power and authority to be rude and nasty. I would bet $1K these same individuals would not have the courage to repeat what they wrote to your face. That is the fatal flaw of social media. I loved your rebuttals – they were great, made me chuckle. And I am so in agreement about Copley Square – there is very little to commend its recent renovation. So – big question unrelated to the above – have you made any updates to your lovely patio/garden?
Hi Marlene,
No, unfortunately, not this summer. The short answer reason is not enough resources, in every way imaginable. Hopefully, next year. Right now, I’m just happy that all of the crap is gone.
As far as “cupcake” I think it would have been a good material as insulation on the Space Shuttles’ External Tank. I can’t imagine the havoc eating something like that would do to one’s digestion!
Wow, what classless & ignorant individuals. On the bright(?) side, imagine being co-worker or spouse if someone was naive enough to marry them! Glad you zinged them Laurel!
Your sense of humor is a highpoint for me. Keep writing and educating the world; there will always be those of such small minds that cannot comprehend complex ideas.
I cannot comment on Copley Plaza because I do not know the area, but I thought your description of stair railings as leftover YMCA pool steps was spot on. I’m wondering if the designer for the new “do” wasn’t familiar with Boston? We have a similar example of horrible design in the 3M Center in St. Paul, MN. A big name Italian designer was brought in to wreak magic and accomplished it beyond everyone’s wildest dreams. He used black flooring and white walls in the gathering spaces. You must understand that salt is used to melt the ice that characterizes Minnesota 6 months a year. That salt gets trekked indoors on boots and shoes and on that black flooring, it looks dreadful…for at least 6 months a year. The pure white walls must be constantly repainted because, again, winter boots and coats make short work of white. I have to sigh when I think of the millions they spent on a designer who had no idea of climate can affect how buildings are designed. I imagine he lives in Italy where snow and ice are a rarity so he had no idea of how to design around them.
I think this may be an idea you might expand upon; how climate can (and/or should) affect design choices. In Seattle I’ve noticed that most homes have a portico entrance to the home, probably because it rains so much and people don’t want to get wet while getting their keys out to open the door. In Minnesota you see many porch designs where you step into an unheated closed space to open the next door to the warm house. In Arizona you will see large covered entrances that allow you to get out of the sun. Different climates need different adaptations.
For the life of me I will never understand most of the design theories and formulas you use but I learn something from every post. Trolls never learn but there are many that do. Thank you for all you do!
I’m thinking complainer #1, aka PPD, must have flunked out of architecture school, possibly even failing to gain admission to the English department. I used to work with architects. Some of the unsuccessful ones could only spew sour milk on anyone else’s success. Sad.
You have to feel a little sorry for the folks who sit around with sour-grapes in their guts, looking for fights to pick and pretending – badly – to be an authority on topics they clearly know little to nothing about.
And to Mr Cupcake, why is he reading a blog that bores him unless he’s bored with himself? For pity’s sake, do something worthwhile with your time then – like taking cupcake decorating lessons and starting up your own blog. Show the rest of us what you got!
Rhetorical question —- What is wrong with people?
Hi Laurel, I haven’t read your posts in a while, I’m a busy mom, but I actually enjoyed this post. LOL. It was funny. I mean you where funny not the mean comment guys. IMO about 80% of men suck. LOL. That’s probably why less women are getting married. I would like to comment on the first guy because the second guy was just weird. I’m not sure why he cared so much about your bad opinion of a cupcake. He clearly has no sense of humor.
I am speaking as a Structural Engineer, who has also created Architectural and Interior design plans. I do think the first guy is correct that building an open concept house could be more expensive, but it depends on the span we are talking about. I’ve never had anyone complain about purchasing an LVL so I don’t think they are that much more. If you need a steel beam then we are talking higher costs. Now, renovations are always more expensive than new builds. For one, most new builds, without an architect or interior designer, will use the cheapest materials possible. So the contractor can make the most when selling the property. Second, its just easier to build something with fewer unknowns compared to a renovation. Easier to build = faster. Faster sometimes = cheaper (but not always). Costs really depend on many factors. Personally I would build what is best for you and your family whether that be an open concept or more walls, while also being realistic about what you actually need.
Laurel, those people are clowns. I (taking your advice to speak in first person) appreciate your viewpoint, knowledge and ability to push the classic envelope through color. It makes me happy to see! Keep up the awesome work! Do you have suggestions on helping plan for a son to move off to college? There are zillions of lists everywhere, but I’m hoping to get some items that he’ll continue to use and not just have them thrown away after a year in a dorm. Thank you!
Sande, I snorted toothpaste while reading your comment. Thanks for the great chuckle! 🤭
I needed a good laugh! I loved how you addressed the spelling errors … if you care enough to comment, for cryin’ out loud, get your words & grammar in order! (But your PPD was having trouble even making a point) I’m sorry I missed the sparky posts, but appreciate the laughs! And thank goodness you posted about Copely Square … who else keeps us informed informed about the destruction of Beauty? May the powers that be swiftly rethink the bizarre, outdated idea of concrete over green space! I am a Dryad at heart – it makes me ill when I see bulldozers plowing down trees. BTW, I haven’t had such a chuckle since you did the McMansion posts – love those!!
Dear Laurel, you’re so right, these rude **** shouldn’t be given space. I absolutely loved the multiple “ideations” you did for another historic apartment close to your apartment – just genius, I was so impressed! Your place is awesome, so well thought out & planned. And you are right about the ugly pavers – about as uninspiring & un-attractive as the new Whitehouse rose garden – why would they think taxpayers would want to pay for ugly?
Ignore these guys & delete them. I hope they do read what all of us that think – they’re not only rude & disrespectful, but ******** w/poor taste! Chin up, you rock:)
Hi Laurel.
Now, you know I love you & everything you write about. And your sense of humor is one to be admired. In fact I was chuckling to myself the whole time I was reading this post. I couldn’t stop thinking about how you reminded me of Julia Sugarbaker from the old tv show Designing Women.
I used to love watching her put people in their place.
You’re obviously a nicer person than I am. I would have posted what they said & then put them on blast. Your faithful readers could have chimed in read them the riot act.
Laurel, just hit delete post. Don’t let all that negative energy enter your life. Insulting people need to be blocked from our lives….you write such positive, funny and informative posts, and those few negative nellies need to go bye-bye.
As for Copley Square, I’m with you 100%. I too live in the Back Bay…It could have been such a beautiful green space. Really, the inconsistencies of the “talk” with the “walk” with our leadership is astounding. They talk about becoming greener… finding positive ways to deal with pollution as well as improve the mental health of humans. Well, green spaces have been proven to help both. Gosh, all you have to do is walk through a city like Paris to appreciate the small public gardens that are tucked in everywhere. People of all ages and life circumstances enjoy them. Instead, in Boston, leadership built a cement plaza and proudly announced they could host beer parties. (Maybe they had one to many when making their design choices.) But they are consistently inconsistent….they talk about inclusivity and then spent millions of dollars building bike lanes that only a very small percentage of the population is able-bodied enough (and childless) to ride a bike in the city to and from all appointments, work and shopping needs. It’s too bad common sense has seemingly been lost. Be well, hit delete and enjoy those of us who appreciate you!
Laurel, this sounds so much like what happened to Kristi Linauer at “Addicted 2 Decorating”. Check out her posts about it. It was fascinating, but disturbing. They knew her home address, everything. It was vile; I believe she consulted an attorney. Some suggested it was created by AI.
Well said!
I had the pleasure of reading Mr. Cupcake’s remarks before you were able to remove them. They made my day! I had to put down my iced tea. Snorting tea is nearly as bad as snorting milk.
Laurel we can learn so much about all aspects of design from you, but now you have given us a Master Class in how not to critique without looking like a moron. Thank you for everything, always.
Laurel, it’s unbelievable that people can be so hateful and mean! I have absolutely loved your blog for years and get excited when I see it in my email! It’s easy to spot, because you have your own category. At any rate, you and I are the same age, and I’ve been in the design business since 1975 when I drew my first legitimate house plans. You definitely know what you’re talking about and how to design. I rarely comment, but thank you for your entertaining enlightenment and thought-provoking, inspirational blog. You do incredible work!