Oh, I’m sure this is going to be boring for you. I am soon to be married (for the third time) to THE ONE. How do I know that he’s THE ONE at age 54?
Do you have an hour? No, I didn’t think so. He’s a wonderful man and makes me very happy.
But… You knew there had to be a “but” because why would some moron write you to say that she’s about to be married for the third time?
Here’s the problem. Brace yourself for a shocker, Laurel.
He loves his mission-style furniture; however, it turns my stomach. Laurel, what am I going to do? I mean, I HATE it! I don’t like the colors, and I don’t like the stuffy, stodgy style. The sofa seriously sucks.
Above is the living room. This is from a realtor’s shot. We had the house on the market for a while but then decided to keep his home and sell mine, but instead of starting fresh, he wants to keep everything as is. We have the means to redo it all, but he doesn’t want to change a thing.
While I realize that some people will love this room, it is so not my taste.
Here’s his favorite chair in the den.
I do love your recliner post. This certainly could be scads worse. But, it could also be a lot better.
The dining room was staged for the realtor’s photo. (not by me) This room does not appeal to me in the slightest. Is that table base weird, or what?
[Note from Laurel: It’s definitely a what. What are those things supposed to be; models for a nuclear reactor?]
What do I want? I guess it’s called Farmhouse Style.
Like, I painted that panel molding yesterday! Wouldn’t it look great painted?
My preference is for light, and bright– whites and blues, and I like the color too, just not mustard, rust, and green.
And, of course, I also love the Serena & Lily look.
The other day, I casually mentioned that I’d like to redecorate and then saw a side of him that I had never seen before.
He rarely raises his voice, but he said, “If I Wanted Farmhouse Style, I’d Go Live On a @#$%^&* Farm!”
I ran out of the room crying! If a man is going to stay up all night with me in the hospital, can’t he at least be willing to bend a bit?
Well, yes, he can because a few minutes later, he came over and gave me a big hug and apologized. See? He is a good man. I’m very blessed.
I lost my second husband to a sudden heart attack. I think my new husband, Mr. D is afraid of losing control, and maybe a part of him just can’t completely let go of the life he had built with his late wife. But, I know that he loves me; however, he went through a rough time with her lengthy illness. That’s how we met; at our Church’s bereavement group.
He says he’s willing to compromise; he doesn’t want to live with a bunch of fru-fru.
I asked him what he didn’t like about the farmhouse style, and he said he thought it was too cutesy-precious and feminine looking.
Objectively, I do see what he means by that. And, I don’t want that either.
But then he surprised me when he said, “Why don’t you write to that decorator that you’re always talking about– Lauren, something.”
Don’t worry. I told him your name is LaureL. ;]
Well, here we are.
You could say that I’m “A little bit country ____ He’s a little bit ____” lol.
I’d be very grateful if you could do a blog post about blending our two styles.
Oh, one other thing. I do like a lot of different styles. I love color, and I love earth tones. But, I adore white. I need light!
Thanks, Laurel. I’m hoping that there’s enough here for a blog post. That would be wonderful!
I agree with Mr. D. Farmhouse style is often too precious and cutesy. I always think of faux chipped furniture and prints on the wall that say corny, hackneyed expressions with fake-looking white-washed frames.
As for mission furniture, an offshoot of the Arts and Crafts movement of the late 19th and early 20th century, I’m with you. But men adore it! They adore the oak and the straight lines; it must appeal to their inner caveman.
However, his upholstered furniture is not Mission-style, but he probably got it at a store that sells it, like Stickley. The sofa is what I call “ersatz traditional.” The leather wing chair is close but not entirely cutting it. The rust chair, however, could work.
So, step number one towards creating your more sophisticated farmhouse style aesthetic.
If there’s a separate office or den, maybe make his MC filled with all of his Stickley furniture. That would solve a lot of problems. He gets his furniture, and you don’t have to look at it.
Let’s address the walls. The wood paneling is gorgeous, and yes, it would look amazing painted white but wait. You’re going to love this. I just got a comment the other day, which I DELETED instead of publishing it. The darling (not) put in a fake email address; email@example.com. It appears that he made a typo there. I believe he meant it to be douchebag@A-holes.com.
Here’s the comment:
Hey Laurel, I’m just an average family husband/father surfing for ideas for our newest purchase. (Hideous white with golden stained oak and softwood). Have owned seven average homes (two now). Sweetheart, it’s time to get over your hatred of wood trim. The primarily white rooms you display are hideous indeed to the average person.
[Excellent point, Douche. My readers are not “average.”]
Perhaps you only write for, work for the rich who often go with what is popular vs. what is practical and appealing to the family with kids who run around touching everything in sight. People who come home from a hard day of honest work desire a warm, soothing environment. A place of comfort that includes a place for the natural, as nature herself is the great [de-stressor] of life. Not looking for a space washed away from the natural world around us.
Oh, how fun it is getting this crap in my email. :/ If that’s average, then the world is indeed in great trouble.
For the record, I’m none of those things he accused me of
Plus, I raised my two grimy little boys in an ALL-WHITE LIVING ROOM. (They washed their hands before and AFTER eating.)
Alas, it’s true. It isn’t easy to get the menfolk to paint the wood once it’s stained. I can tell you, though, that when you manage to convince them to paint the wood and then do it, they ALL love it and wish they had done so sooner.
But no problem. We’ll keep the wood and work with it.
Wood is either brown, cognac, or caramel in color. And that needs to be taken into consideration. These warm tones love cool colors– like blues and greens. Please see this recent post about the best colors with stained wood trim.
I’m hearing that you dislike too much wood, weird, stodgy shapes, and tired colors.
Mr. D loves the wood, but as far as the furniture goes, he may be just going with what he knows.
This gives me enough to go on, to come up with a beautiful compromise that will allow you guys to keep the wood paneling and a mix of more modern elements that I think will give you a handsome room that you’ll both love.
Of course, these are just general ideas. There are zillions of possibilities.
Sometimes when people say that they don’t like certain colors, it only means that they don’t like them in a particular context.
Please hang onto that idea.
Let’s look at some furnishings to create a sophisticated Modern Farmhouse Style.
(that will not be in the slightest bit precious.)
One website I’d like to share with you is Jayson Home. I don’t believe there’s a “Jayson.” In fact, I think the owners are women. However, there is nothing cutesy about their interiors.
What’s interesting is that for the furniture, I either love it or it’s not my thing.
However, all of the rooms and vignettes on their website are impeccably edited. And yes, many are more modern than what I usually feature on the blog.
There are some more trad pieces that I have featured on the blog. And owners of the Laurel Home Paint and Palette Collection will see a couple of pieces used repeatedly from Jayson Home.
However, what is cool is that the architecture in their vignettes is often quite ornate or rustic.
It makes a beautiful counterpoint to the more contemporary pieces you’re about to see.
And yes, some of the interiors are a more contemporary farmhouse style– but with a twist.
So, let me begin by sharing some images, and we’ll be able to develop a color scheme.
But, before I do that, I think it’s good to know that a home doesn’t have to have all white or all dark walls. Therefore, if you’d like a light, bright living room because there are a lot of windows, you can do that and have a darker moody den, dining room, or maybe even a hall or vestibule.
I love this vignette because it marries the feminine and masculine perfectly. Plus, I love this warm, deep gray with a touch of green undertone against the black door. Very sophisticated and chic.
2121-10 Gray by Benjamin Moore
Above are three contemporary chairs juxtaposed against white walls, a dark walnut hardwood floor, and a lovely art print. All are available from Jayson Home.
This is a fantastic cabinet with Chippendale-style doors and a stylized malachite-esque interior. This would look amazing with a collection of creamware/ironstone inside.
Sidenote: These doors are almost the same size doors I want to do for the back of my kitchen. Mine will be slightly more narrow, however.
My new hobby is obsessively looking for the perfect kitchen pendant. Oh, I’ve found two that I love. The problem is that someone else owns them now.
Above is another twist I love. The only discernible pattern is on the draperies, which are the star of the show in this room. This entire space is such a masterful blend of contemporary and new-traditional. Bravo! (Please see the ultimate window treatment guide.)
Of course, there could be a mirror or art over the mantel. However, I think there’s something quite zen about the mostly spartan space and then these opulent (AKA: mucho bucks) window treatments.
Above is another dark but not at all dreary room.
The wall color looks a lot like Benjamin Moore Caponata. And, yes, it’s another Laurel Home paint collection color.
Paul Montgomery is such an incredible artist. Above is a printed wallpaper in a Sepia Version of four panels and available at Chairish. (144″ x 120″h, but it can be trimmed.) It says “Casa Cosima”; however, the address on Chairish is the same address on TheMuralSource website.
Above, is a classic contemporary living room with a ming-style coffee table.
Jayson Home also sells vintage pieces and antiques at very reasonable prices. There are some lovely items, so please check them out.
I love the classical architectural detailing in this room with contemporary furniture. If that coffee table looks familiar, it’s the same as in this recent post.
Please click on the above image to go to the source.
Oh, to have a room like this!
Wait! I DO have a room like this. haha! Well, almost.
And, that’s the food for thought I have for you today.
In this case, both the husband and the wife may have discovered an entirely different style that married their differing aesthetic into something new. It’s not exactly farmhouse style. You could say the merged style is a metaphor for their new life together as a married couple.
There’s another post that I did a while back about a couple with disparate tastes in decorating.
PPS: This is not a sponsored post, however, yes, the links to Jayson Home, a brand I love, independently, are affiliate links.