Blog Trolls Beware! An Etiquette Guide for the Terminally Clueless

Dear Readers,

The bulk of this post is about blog trolls and a little etiquette guide I put together.

However, there is also an update on the Copley Square post. Guys, you know how, when a new building goes up in your town, you forget what was there before? Well, that happened to me here with Copley Square. It fits in so seamlessly that it’s not especially memorable. But it was never meant to be.

Remember, originally, Copley Square was not a destination; it was a grassy median separating Huntington Avenue from Boylston Street and Trinity Church.

Anyway, I found some pics of how it was before and immediately felt completely heartsick. If you’d like to see the photos and weep, I’ve added them to the Copley Square post from Sunday. (Note: I’ll add this in later.)

Several gorgeous photos of the square before the backhoe and wrecking balls came along show all that was lovely, gracious, and appropriate for its surroundings—fondly remembered by thousands of people.

 

As a blogger, I’m blessed to have received thousands of wonderful comments.

 

The comments are often the best part of the blog post.

Most are incredibly thoughtful and immensely kind. These comments mean the world to me—especially in a profession where 99% of the work happens alone, at 2:00 AM, with nothing but a cup of hot chocolate and an overworked laptop for company.

 

And I want to be clear: I’m not fishing for praise or looking for sympathy. Not at all.

 

Thoughtful criticism? Fine. Disagreement? Fine. In fact, I welcome it—it’s often how we learn and grow.

But then… there are other comments. The ones that are so deliciously illogical, so un-self-aware, false, misinformed, and designed to invalidate my message… well, it makes me wonder why they don’t volunteer to write the blog for me.

And even more than that—why on earth are they reading something they claim to hold in such contempt?

 

 

Which brings me to today’s entertainment: two blog troll specimens (anonymized, of course) who’ve graciously provided us with a hands-on etiquette lesson.

 

Laurel’s Etiquette Guide for the Terminally Clueless (AKA: The Blog Troll Playbook)

 

Rule #1: When lambasting your target, accuracy is crucial.

 

Let’s begin with Case Study #1, a gentleman I fondly call “Paper Palace Dude.”

 

Here’s what PPD had to say:

 

New comment on your post “Can You Fix An Open-Concept Floor Plan? Yes, You Can! Parts 1 and 2” Author: PippaD

Comment:

You make stuff up.

It isn’t cheaper to build a house with an open concept floor plan. It is absolutely not true. It is much cheaper to build walls than to engineer and build open concept houses. Walls are cheap.

Steel beams and laminated beams are expensive to purchase and to install. Architects and engineers need to be more creative running utilities. Walls are cheaper solutions to these problems. The open concept is what consumers want and that is why builders build them.

People like to live and entertain in the kitchen. Many of the floor plans you “fixed” are what architects call ideation drawings or paper palaces.

 

An architect didn’t draw them.

 

There are no blueprints and most only work on paper as they would be too impractical and expensive to build. You weren’t just shooting fish in a barrel. You were shooting dead fish in a barrel and missing because you started with a false premise.

Research and fact check. Don’t be Durner and Kruger. Look at the older houses that are being renovated to have an open concept so you see what looks like a stripper pole in the middle of the great room or a big ugly exposed bream runs through the center of the house.

***

Darling Paper Palace Dude,

First, it’s Dunning-Kruger-Effect, not Durner. If you’re going to accuse someone of ignorance, spell it correctly.
Second — “Bream” is a fish. Perhaps you meant “beam”?

 

As for your points:

 

• Walls are “cheap”? Tell that to the contractors who framed and finished mine. It took months.
• Open concept is what “people want”? Some people also want gas station sushi. That doesn’t mean it’s the majority—or a good idea.

 

Let’s talk about ideation drawings.

 

An ideation drawing is a quick sketch that expresses an IDEA—also called a concept drawing. My plans, although conceptual from a building perspective, are grounded in solid fundamentals of residential interior design and space planning—an industry I’ve been involved in since 1988. I have major creds, but I don’t like to be (too) self-aggrandizing.

*These are designs to make the spaces far more functional, private, quieter, and live larger. (Yes! More rooms can make a home seem larger.) They offer greater flexibility for both current use and future resale purposes. Oh, and some folks don’t want their bedroom to smell like sautéed onions.

 

“Paper palaces.”

 

Again, you’re way off base. Paper palaces are architectural visions that are grandiose in scale and materials, and generally impractical, if not impossible, to build. Think adding a gilded 20′ x 40′ ballroom tacked onto the back of a Boston brownstone.

My drawings are the opposite—they add much-needed practicality, like a place to hang one’s coat other than the back of a chair.

What I’ve shown my readers is how to take an existing professionally designed floor plan and add walls—some small, some not—creating a sense of entrance, opportunities for storage, better flow, and all the benefits mentioned above.*
 

Listen carefully, Paper Palace Dude.

 

I see that you’re not an interior designer or an architect, and from your remarks, it appears that you’re not well-versed in the terminology either.

But hey, keep telling women who’ve been studying and working in their industry for over 37 years that they don’t know what they’re talking about. It’s going great for you.

Wishing you a beautiful day—perhaps in a room with an actual door.

 

Rule #2: If you’re going to insult, for heaven’s sake, spellcheck first!

 

Blog trolls are known for lousy spelling. It’s like telling a brain surgeon what a “scapelle” is—or a “sizzers.”

 

Enter Case Study #2: “Sam, The Patron Saint of Overpriced Insipid Cupcakes” AKA: Cupcake Sam

 

Cupcake Sam writes:

 

Well, aren’t you the one, Laurel. I will suggest your name to Mayor Wu for city council for future projects with all your expertise. You haven’t posted anything this tacky since your scathing review of dry pastry at Fleur Bakery. Are you still allowed there? You would kick someone off your blog if they were as critical as you. I’ve noticed that now your renovation is complete, your blog has been very boring/repetitive. Hope it gets better & back to what you think you know.
 

Oh, darling Cupcake Sam, I’ll tell you what I *think I know*.

 

I think I know that the store you’re referring to is called Flour Bakery, not Fleur. And yes, I’m still “allowed” there—although I haven’t set foot in a Flour Bakery since that experience, and never will again.

Oh, wait, that’s not true. There was one time in the winter of ’23 when I cut through the one on Cambridge Street to escape the brain-freezing wind. I do recall that the cupcakes hid their Crisco-laden heads in shame.

 

Above is the horrid cupcake. And take a guess where I attempted to eat it? Common’ I know you know.

Yes! Copley Square! (This links to that day three years ago. I forgot. I also got a slice of equally horrid cake.) 

Incidentally, a cupcake should be more than a dry, overpriced hockey puck with no hint of butter, a fake aftertaste, and mounds of high-fructose corn syrup-laden, hydrogenated palm oil frosting.
 

Cupcake, please understand—I’m known for speaking my mind.

 

My readers appreciate this, even if the truth sometimes makes them a little uncomfortable.

 

But also…

 

If you do not enjoy my blog and find it boring, you’re under no obligation to read it. No one should force you to spend time on something you disdain.

Rule #3: Cupcakes (food) for thought, Cupcake.

 

If you’re going to malign someone on their own blog, please consider the possibility that you’re doing the very thing you’re criticising.

 

Rule #4: Avoid hypocrisy—it’s not a good look.

 

To accuse someone of being “too critical” or “tacky” while simultaneously delivering a deeply personal, public takedown is… well… it’s like complaining about the awful food in a restaurant and, in the same breath, declaring the portions are too small. (Yes, I stole that from Woody Allen.)

Rule #5: Critique the cake, not the one who’s eating it.

 

If you disagree with my opinion, say so! We can discuss. But back it up with evidence. We can even disagree passionately. Going after me or anyone personally for stating an opinion on their own blog is as atrocious as deliberately selling rip-off artery-clogging cupcakes.
 

One final note.

 

You’ll never see me directly insulting an identifiable person unless they remain anonymous. I critque things. Sometimes, people who have those things might take offense and think I’m insulting them directly. I’m not. My opinions on things are my own, and you are free to disagree.

The best way to handle disagreements? Use the word I.

For example, you might say:

“I’m sorry you had a bad experience, but I adore the cupcakes at Flour because…”

Not:

“You haven’t posted anything this tacky since your scathing review of dry pastry at Fleur Bakery.”

 

To be crystal clear.

 

I do not kick people off my blog for respectfully disagreeing or being critical about things. I kick them off for condescending, holier-than-thou behavior towards me or other readers.

 

In closing:

 

To my two anonymous muses: thank you. Your unsolicited feedback is a masterclass in what not to do. It’s today’s lesson in etiquette for blog trolls, entertainment for thousands, and a catharsis for me.

I wish you the very best in your future endeavors—be they misnaming bakeries or confusing architectural terms. Your feedback, while not exactly useful, is an excellent reminder to my readers: if you must criticize, at least make it entertaining.

Thanks for the great blog post material!

Readers, please enjoy the map I created, which shows the location of Flour Bakery and my route to Copley Square when I tried to enjoy my cupcake.

 

 

Okay, it’s time to move on to happier topics.

xo,

 

***Please check out the recently updated HOT SALES!

There is now an Amazon link on my home page and below. Thank you for the suggestion!

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Please click the link before items go into your shopping cart. Some people save their purchases in their “save for later folder.” Then, if you remember, please come back and click my Amazon link, and then you’re free to place your orders. While most vendor links have a cookie that lasts a while, Amazon’s cookies only last up to 24 hours.

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