Merry Christmas 2019 and Happy Hanukkah 5780

freaking-out-over-your-paint-colors

 

Merry Christmas 2019 and Happy Hanukkah 5780!

 

mr and ms claus - Merry Christmas 2019

 

Yes, that’s me with the toothy, over-the-top-goofy-grin and my darling boyfriend “J.”*** Before I came up to the Adirondacks, I got us some cute Mr. & Ms. Santa outfits for our tree trimming party.

I’m so glad many of you enjoyed the last post featuring Christmas decor around the world. Those posts are always fun to put together. There are also more images from J’s insanely gorgeous property on that post. And, also here, if you’re interested.

 

Our Merry Christmas tree 2019

Here’s a portion of our tree.

 

Yes, that’s recliner chair. :]

 

Although, the primary focus of this blog is of course, interior design and decoration; I feel that everything and everyone is connected.

 

And, for me, you guys are like my family. I always wanted a big family. I suppose 32,000 is a pretty good size. lol

In the meantime, many of you have been curious about my boyfriend, J. So, I’ll take this opportunity to answer a few of your questions.

 

How did you meet him?

 

I met him online. Uh huh, on that horrible dating site, Match dot con. And, no, that is not a typo. That is just me being me. In fact, both of us were so fed up, we were ready to throw in the towel.

 

How can you say it’s so awful if you met somebody, nice, Laurel?

 

For more about that, you can click to read this entertaining post. There, you will find a list of common, albeit, woos-y behaviors that are commonplace in the online dating world. And, it matters not how young or old the people are. Nothing changes. Indeed, it’s awful.

As one friend described it:

A man goes to the store to buy peaches. He looks over the bin of peaches and thinks… “hmmm… they’re okay, I guess.” Maybe he even picks up one or two of the peaches for closer examination and then cavalierly throws them back in the bin with the rest of the peaches.

 

“I dunno about any of these peaches,” thinks the man…”I think I’ll just come back to the store tomorrow because I know that there’s going to be an entirely new bin of peaches. Maybe one of those peaches will be EXACTLY what I’m looking for.”

 

The next day comes and the man goes back to the store and heads straight over to the fresh batch of peaches.

Same drill.

But, women do the same thing.

However, it only takes one.

 

Will you find one who meets ALL of your requirements?

 

No. You won’t. However, for me, the most important thing is that I wake up every day wanting to be my very best self for that person. And, they in turn, feel the same.

But, if you have to wonder where you stand with someone, then, please take my advice and gently let them go. And, for the love of God, please don’t just disappear. (aka: ghosting) Take a minute to say good-bye and I usually say something like, “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you better, but at this point, it’s clear that we’re looking for different things. I wish you nothing but the best.”

A man who is interested in a woman will NOT string her along, leaving her nothing but (stale) crumbs of himself to live on.

Oh, make no mistake, I’ve been there too. (Truly, it sucks.)

For whatever the reason, they are not right for you. Hell, they might not be right for anyone. However, you deserve the entire loaf– crust, fluffy inside, AND every delicious crumb that falls off. ALL OF IT!

 

So, why did you choose someone 200 miles away from you, Laurel?

 

Well, I didn’t specifically look for someone that distance. But, I did widen my net to a 200 mile radius. In my mind, I was thinking maybe Boston, not the Adirondacks! However, Match’s algorithm sent me guys from all directions.

 

Well, you’re so lucky to have met your soulmate, Laurel!

 

Whoa there! First of all, I don’t believe in soulmates. That’s crap! Or, at the very least, one could say “soulmate” after a minimum of 10 years, not 3 months.

However, I met a number of guys who I felt might be viable candidates. And, if one of them had been good to me and stepped up to the freakin’ plate, before I had met J, perhaps I’d be exchanging gifts with them.

But, they didn’t. Not even close.

The difference with J is that he made it clear to me where he stood. I mean, where WE stood.

Simple.

Please, remember that. By the way, that’s as much for me as it is for you.

 

In fact, the message is this and it matters not what IT is. It could be a business decision or where to take a vacation.

 

The choice should be clear.

I didn’t say perfect, risk-free, or easy.

I said — CLEAR.

If it’s not clear, then it’s not right.

If however, you feel it, in your heart then go for it.

We’ll leave it at that.

And, that is my Christmas 2019 / Hanukkah 5780 message.

I will leave you with a video I made in 2013, that I watch every year. Please enjoy my Christmas present to all of you!

 

 

 

Speaking of presents.

 

If you need a last minute gift and I mean you need it NOW, you can purchase any of my digital products. There is gifting available. When you go to order, just click on the gift icon and you put in the recipient, their email address and day and time you’d like them to receive their gift.

 

*In addition, if you or anyone receives or purchases any of my digital interior design products (below) you will get a free gift.*

 

Laurel’s Rolodex

The Essential Paint Collection
The Ultimate Paint Palette Home Furnishings Collection  (these two are sold together)

Six Figure Income BloggerAnyone with a website definitely needs this guide which explains in plain English what you need to know to have your website work for you.

Under each of these pages, linked to above, you can read about the products and numerous testimonials.

 

*The free gift you’ll get is my new guide. (But ONLY though December 30th)

 

333 Hard To Find Rules And Tips You Need To Know

 

You can also purchase the 333 Rules guide alone. (please click the link above to learn more)

If you are ready to order any product(s) and don’t need to read anything, you can click here to go directly to the purchase page.

 

Well, I’ll let you get back to your festivities whether it’s a party of one or 101.

I’m grateful for everyone who reads this blog and supports me and my work. I love you all!

The Merriest and Happiest of Holidays to You and Yours!!!

xo,

 

P.S. Please check out the newly updated Hot Sales for some incredible year-end sales and deals!

 

*** January 7, 2019 – I decided to end things with J– yesterday. I still love him very much, but I require a lot of consistency in my relationships. I needed to leave BEFORE the love was gone.  I hope that makes sense.

 

5th edition rolodex-post-graphic - November 2018 - A unique shopping guide with hundreds of sources created by Laurel Bern

  • Dolores Pap - December 28, 2019 - 2:52 PM

    Happy New year, dear Laurel- I’m just so happy that you have found love and companionship.
    All the best to you and J. for the coming year..
    xoxoxoReplyCancel

  • Julie S - December 26, 2019 - 6:59 PM

    Lots of love to you, Laurel! I’m so glad to see you having fewer work hours and other things filling your time and heart 🙂
    Your advice is sound – I got married 10 years ago but had been looking for a few years by that time and just like you, “I met a number of guys who I felt might be viable candidates. And, if one of them had been good to me and stepped up to the freakin’ plate, before I had met J, perhaps I’d be exchanging gifts with them. But, they didn’t. Not even close.” I did do some online dating, blergh, though I ended up meeting HIM through a mutual friend.
    My mom is a 76 year old widow who passionately loves her job in the art sales world, but the last couple years she has been dating a bit and the current guy has her talking about easing up on her 40+ hours a week at her job, finally!!ReplyCancel

  • Marze - December 26, 2019 - 10:26 AM

    Laurel, wishing you a blessed 2020. All of these replies are a testament to the many you have touched with your wit and wisdom. So happy that you are loving your time with J at Lake George:)ReplyCancel

  • Sue W - December 26, 2019 - 8:15 AM

    So happy for you Laurel! You are the only person I know including myself who has ever come away from match dot con (ha ha ha love that) with anything but stories of the “you can’t make this sh*t up” variety. Enjoy the holidays!ReplyCancel

  • Sandra - December 25, 2019 - 4:39 PM

    Happy Hanukkah & a joyous New Year.
    So glad to hear you’ve met your ‘match’…
    wishing you health & happiness in the year ahead …ReplyCancel

  • Diana Bier - December 25, 2019 - 10:20 AM

    Happy Holidays to you, Laurel! I am so happy for you to have found a new beau, and I wish you all the best in the New Year!
    Always love seeing your blog posts in my mailbox.ReplyCancel

  • K - December 25, 2019 - 10:07 AM

    I love you dearly, Laurel! I genuinely look forward to any email from you. I’m so happy you are happy, and I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and happy new year!ReplyCancel

  • Alice Christian - December 25, 2019 - 8:19 AM

    All the best to you and J. Wishing you the best of holidays. I met my husband on Match and we were married 6 years ago. I completely agree with getting to the point of being totally fed up and about to quit Match when my husband emailed and I almost didn’t reply but after a day or so, thought ok, won’t hurt. We have been through a lot in those 6 years including my battles of breast cancer 3 years ago and colorectal cancer this past year. Can’t imagine going through those alone. He has been there through it all. Your blog always brings me some happiness as you have a great sense of humor and your advice has been so helpful. I am loving the Roledex and paint guide and am going through the new stuff.ReplyCancel

  • Ivis - December 25, 2019 - 7:50 AM

    Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and wishing you continued joy in 2020. You’ve overcome a lot the past couple of years, and it’s wonderful to see you so happy now!ReplyCancel

  • Caroline - December 25, 2019 - 12:53 AM

    Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas, Laurel! I’m so glad you are happy with J! Thank you for all your enlightening posts, and best wishes for the new year ahead!ReplyCancel

  • Susan Hijazi - December 24, 2019 - 9:49 PM

    Happy Hanukkah, Happy Christmas Eve, Merry Christmas
    Wishing you joy in this magical season
    Health and Happiness through the new year
    To you and yours,
    SusanReplyCancel

  • Margaret - December 24, 2019 - 9:17 PM

    Laurel ~ I love your blog! So happy to see you so happy! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!ReplyCancel

  • Ingrid - December 24, 2019 - 9:10 PM

    Happy Holidays to you, Laurel, and your loved ones. I met my wonderful husband on match.com 14 years ago, so I feel that I can now safely say he’s my soul mate, and it was worth going through just about all the iffy types you mention in your July post. Fortunately I also met some nice men, some of whom I even dated, before I lucked onto my honey, who is both hot and so very nice. I can only say, if having someone to share your life with is important to you, don’t give up. It took me three years. He’s five years younger than I, and does both dishes and the laundry!ReplyCancel

  • Val - December 24, 2019 - 9:01 PM

    You’re very hot and gorgeous Laurel and you’re simply the best. Happy Holidays!!!ReplyCancel

  • Anna Moser-Gallego - December 24, 2019 - 8:31 PM

    Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Everything!ReplyCancel

  • Pamela A Adler - December 24, 2019 - 8:23 PM

    Merry, Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah to you and your love Laurel. So very happy for you both.
    May you have years filled with love, health and all good things.
    Mazel Tov!!ReplyCancel

  • Maggie - December 24, 2019 - 7:19 PM

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Laurel !
    I think J. and those lovely little ballerina ornaments were just waiting for you to show up! I wish you much continued happiness and a sincere thank you for all that you have given us, your readers!ReplyCancel

  • Louise Richardson - December 24, 2019 - 6:59 PM

    Hi Laurel,
    Congratulations on meeting someone you really really like online! I agree with your advice about the “clarity” thing. We are grown and should know our own minds by now. We don’t have time for games and guessing. I also agree you should be courteous if you’ve spent time getting to know someone but you realize it’s not going to work out. These sites are great for letting you cut to the chase, so to speak; we don’t need to belabor the thing, but to just disappear with no closure is rude and immature. I would like to mention that I met my husband of 14 years online on eHarmony. I was married, got a divorce in 2004 when I was 44, went on eHarmony, met my match, got married 14 months later, and have been happy together since then. (And, brag: he’s four years younger!) I recommend the online method to to everyone! Although I frequently hear that it’s not the same now as it was, I don’t know if that’s true. The peach analogy was applicable back then too. Success comes from knowing ourselves (who we are, what we like), knowing what we want in a partner, and knowing what our boundaries are. Put your best honest self forward, and expect that from the other. Merry Christmas Laurel!ReplyCancel

  • Debdipuma - December 24, 2019 - 6:34 PM

    Your smile says it ALL🎄ReplyCancel

  • Lorri - December 24, 2019 - 6:10 PM

    There are soulmates, Laurel! Everyone you love is a soulmate – your children, your parents, extended family, and friends.

    Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!ReplyCancel

  • Courtney - December 24, 2019 - 5:49 PM

    Happy. Holidays and blessings for an amazing year ahead. Thank you for all the beauty and talented information you share. I never comment but always read. Peace, love and light sent from Woodstock, IL, where I run a Great Dane rescue and live in a house my husband and I built ourselves. We can build anything but I cant decorate in the least. I live in a 3,000 square foot space that looks like a teenager decorated. Oh to posess your talents. Still, I read your posts and dream of better. Happy 2020! Congratulations on finding a companion to share with, recliner and all.ReplyCancel

  • Marleen Yelaca - December 24, 2019 - 5:34 PM

    Hello Laurel, I enjoy your site all year long.
    Heres a little Irish blessing for you:
    “May your troubles be less and your blessings be more and may nothing but happiness come through your door.” Wishing you the best in 2020!ReplyCancel

  • Mary E - December 24, 2019 - 5:31 PM

    Hi Laurel,
    Thanks for the wise words. My daughter is looking to meet someone & I never know what to say to her. Communication is not my greatest strength. So I’m going to give her your advice. Maybe someday she’ll be as fortunate as you are.
    Happy Holidays to you & all those around you.ReplyCancel

  • Terry - December 24, 2019 - 5:09 PM

    Blessings to you this Holiday Season and I love your posts. Wishing you love, joy, peace, health, & prosperity. A very Merry CHRISTmas & Happy Hanukkah.ReplyCancel

  • Michelle M - December 24, 2019 - 5:03 PM

    Laurel,
    I love to see your hard-earned happiness. The best part about being a strong independent woman is that you have choices. And you get to be where you want to be. I am so happy for you!
    MichelleReplyCancel

  • Ramona Thompson - December 24, 2019 - 4:53 PM

    After a long time, I felt it was the right time to post my profile on line. That was nearly 18 years ago when we were almost mid-fifties. We have been married for 16-1/2 years now. You go for it! And, congratulations and have the Best Holiday Season ever!!ReplyCancel

  • mrsben - December 24, 2019 - 4:52 PM

    A VERY HAPPY HANUKKAH and HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES, Laurel. Also wishing you good health and loads of happiness in the coming NEW YEAR. Fondly -Brenda-

    P.S.: So happy for you as “J” sounds like a keeper … ☺.ReplyCancel

  • Robin Fishbien - December 24, 2019 - 4:51 PM

    Laurel,
    Aside from being extremely talented you are also extremely wise and so very comical!
    Love everything you do and write!!
    Wishing you much health and happiness for 2020!ReplyCancel

  • Julie Champagne - December 24, 2019 - 4:46 PM

    Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah Laurel! Avid follower since early 2016; never commenter. You make me laugh and you make me cry but today my heart sings for you! Cheers to you, the new beau and making memories with those we cherish!! XoxoReplyCancel

  • Cindy - December 24, 2019 - 4:44 PM

    Merry Christmas and Happy New YearLaurel
    May the season be full of laughter and new memories.
    May the old memories bring peace .
    Thank you for the post’s throughout the year your guidance and teachings.
    Again merry Christmas.
    CindyReplyCancel

  • Ramona - December 24, 2019 - 4:27 PM

    Wonderful news and Happy everything to you!ReplyCancel

  • nancy keyes - December 24, 2019 - 4:20 PM

    Laurel,
    I am smiling ear to ear for your happiness!
    Sending love from Marc and Lily, too! XOXOReplyCancel

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