Oh, I’m sure this is going to be boring for you. I am soon to be married (for the third time) to THE ONE. How do I know that he’s THE ONE at 54?
Well, after you’ve been throwing up your guts after a batch of bad oysters and a man stays by your side in the ER for 24 hours straight and he makes you laugh so hard that you think that you’ll throw up some more… that is how I know.
And the reason that I gave you that graphic preamble that I’m sure is way more information than you care to know is that aside from all of his many attributes, we have diametric tastes in decorating.
He loves his mission-style furniture which I largely HATE! Laurel, I HATE it! I don’t like the colors and I don’t like the boxy style. The sofa sucks.
Here’s the living room. This is from a realtor’s shot. We had the house on the market for a while, but then decided to keep his home and sell mine, but instead of starting fresh, he wants to keep everything as is. We have the means, but he doesn’t want to change anything.
While I realize that some people will love this room, it is so not my taste.
Here’s his favorite chair in the den.
The dining room that was staged for the realtor photo. (not by me) This room does not appeal to me in the slightest.
What do I want? I guess it’s called Farmhouse Style.
My preference is for light and bright– whites and blues and I like color too, just not mustard, rust and green.
The other day, I casually mentioned that I’d like to redecorate the other day and then saw a side of him, that I had never seen before.
He rarely raises his voice, but he said, “If I Wanted Farmhouse Style, I’d Go Live On a @#$%^&* Farm!”
I ran out of the room crying! If a man is going to stay up all night with you in the hospital all night, can’t he at least be willing to bend a bit?
Well, yes, he can because a few minutes later he came over and gave me a big hug and apologized. See? He really is a good man. I’m very blessed.
I think that he’s afraid of losing control and maybe a part of him just can’t completely let go of the life he had built with his late wife. But, I know that he loves me, however, he went through a rough time with her lengthy illness. I lost my second husband to a sudden heart attack. That’s how we met; at our Church’s bereavement group.
In the end, he said that he’s willing to compromise, he just doesn’t want to live with a bunch of frou frou.
I asked him what he didn’t like about farmhouse style and he said that he thought it was too cutesy-precious and feminine looking.
Objectively, I do see what he means by that. And, I don’t want that either.
But then he really surprised me when he said, “Why don’t you write to that decorator that you’re always talking about– Lauren something.”
Don’t worry. I told him that your name is LaureL. ;]
Well, here we are.
I guess you could said that I’m “A little bit country… He’s a little bit…” lol
If you could do a blog post about blending our two styles, I’d be very grateful.
Oh, one other thing. I adore blue– every shade and Mr. D’s entire wardrobe is blue. Maybe there’s some meeting ground there?
Thanks Laurel. I’m hoping that there’s enough here for a blog post. That would be wonderful!
Donnie Ann-Marie Osmond
PS: BTW. I’m keeping my name as is, because if I took his, I’d be Donnie Ann-Marie Osmond-Dusediekerbaumer. I think it might be a bit much?
Good move on keeping your name intact. Now, for the sanity. I think there’s a way to make it so that both of you can feel good in your new life together. And may it be a long, happy union too!
I agree with Mr. Dusediekerbaumer. Farmhouse style is often too precious and cutesy. I always think of faux chipped furniture and prints on the wall that say corny hackneyed expressions with fake-looking white-washed frames.
As for mission furniture which is really an off-shoot of the Arts and Crafts movement, I’m with you. But men adore it! They adore the oak, the square lines. I guess it appeals to their inner-caveman.
His upholstered furniture is not mission. The sofa is what I call “ersatz traditional.” The leather wing chair is close but not quite cutting it. The rust chair however, could work.
So, that’s step number one. If there’s a separate office or den, why not make that his MC filled with all of his Stickley furniture.
Let’s address the walls. The wood paneling is gorgeous and yes, it would look amazing painted white, but oh wait. You’re going to love this… I just got this comment the other day, which I did not publish. The A-hole put in a fake email address– firstname.lastname@example.org. It appears that he made a typo there. I believe he meant it to be email@example.com
Here’s the comment:
Just an average family husband/father surfing for ideas for our newest purchase. (Hideous white with golden oak stained oak, and soft wood). Have owned 7 average homes (two now). Time to get over your hatred of wood trim. The mostly white rooms you display are hideous indeed to the average person.
Perhaps you only write for, work for the rich who so very often go with what is popular vs what is practical and appealing to the family with kids who run around touching everything in sight. People who come home from a hard day of honest work desire a warm, soothing environment. A place of comfort that includes a place for the natural, as nature herself is the great de-stresser of life. Not looking for a space washed of the natural world around us.
Fun getting this crap in my email. :/ If that’s average, then the world is indeed doomed.
But anyway. It’s very difficult to get the menfolk to paint the wood once it’s stained. One thing I can tell you though is that when you do manage to convince them and do it, they all love it.
But fine. We’ll keep the wood and work with it.
Wood is basically either brown, cognac or caramel in color. And that needs to be taken into consideration. These warm tones love cool colors– like blues and greens.
What I’m hearing is that you dislike so much wood, the strong boxy shapes and the colors.
Mr. D loves the wood, the strong boxy shapes and the colors– but he also loves blue.
This gives me enough to go on, to come up with a beautiful compromise that will allow you guys to keep the wood paneling and a mix of more modern elements that I think will give you a handsome room that you’ll both love.
Of course, these are just general ideas.
Sometimes when people say that they don’t like certain colors, it only means that they don’t like them in a certain context.
Please hang onto that idea.
All right, let’s clear everything out. First thing we’ll do is paint the walls a warm off-white like Benjamin Moore Ivory White 925 would probably do the trick. I do normally like to paint the walls more of a color with the wood, but I think that for what I have in mind, a white is essential.
Now for the furnishings to create a sophisticated Modern Farmhouse Style
(that will not be in the slightest bit precious.)
There are two ways we can go. We could do a room that’s predominantly blue and white, mixing in different blues. The other way is to introduce some color and one of them is the rust. You could then keep the handsome rusty-red chair. Or if not, you could reupholster it. That’s a fine-looking piece.
I’d like to begin with a new sofa and build the room around that.
I found a handsome blue classic contemporary style. It has beautiful proportions and I think will appeal to Mr. D. Please bear in mind too, that sometimes people don’t know what they like until they see it. If they have never been exposed to something, in the first place, how can they like something they don’t know exists? Seems pretty logical.
This is a lovely rug for option one. (I’m feeling like Scott McGillivray just now, but not nearly as pretty. haha)
Another view. It’s well priced at only $595, but they are having a 20% off sale right now. I love the retro-influence this chair has.
A vintage black stone topped coffee table from Chairish is chic and brings in another element, plus black and gold. Always a good thing in any room.
And here are some more ideas to explore to get a blend of styles that will make Contemporary Farmhouse with a more masculine style.
My money is on your liking the rusty-red if mixed with rich blues, but the reason you don’t like it here, is because the rest of the palette is unanimously warm and that can feel heavy and tiring, along with so much wood and very little white. I did a post a while back about this wonderful color scheme using blues and oranges.
If so, then you could pursue option #2 and introduce a rug with some rusts and blues in it. And then, you could keep the rust chair as is, perhaps. Here are some gorgeous hand-knotted Orientals I found.
I love the washed antique look of this rug. It’s amazing what they are doing these days.
A Hand-knotted Ziegler. These rugs are all very well-priced, especially to the prices they were geezz, TWENTY YEARS AGO! I would’ve expected a 9 x 12 handmade rug like this to retail for at least $6,000.00. Their price is hugely inflated, but it’s only selling for $3,099.00!
If ordering an Oriental online. First of all, I would make sure that you can return it and also pick the fabrics after you get the rug, unless it doesn’t matter that much.
Also please check out Spark Modern’s pillows— They have many, many wonderful designs.
Some more ideas to consider
The Faux Shagreen Coffee Table is cool and contemporary. Shagreen was used a lot for furniture in the early part of the 20th century.
Another beautiful vignette from Williams Sonoma Home Love the entire thing. Those teal leather dining chairs would be way cool in the dining room and they look very comfy too.
Devon 6- light chandelier over the dining table would be a classic contemporary/transitional piece that would stand the test of time. (please note that the Devon 8 light chandelier shown below is wonderful for this large room with a high ceiling, but at 48″ in diameter is going to be too large for the average sized dining room with a rectangular table.
Living room with classic rolled arm sofa, from the Bedford Collection (20% off) from Williams Sonoma Home. I am positive that this is manufactured by Lee Industries for them. and below a Scalamandre Le Tigre velvet pillow.
I have always loved white furniture. For years, I had it in my old home where we co-existed with two extremely grimy rambunctious boys. I’m with one of them today and need to sign off so that we can have some fun together in Boston before we see the Boston Ballet do Sleeping Beauty tonight.
I hope that this post gave y’all some great ideas for working with a spouse who has different tastes. Sometimes the meeting ground isn’t as far as you believed in the beginning.
There’s another post that I did a while back about a couple with disparate tastes in decorating.
And for more blue and white room ideas, this is last week’s post (if you missed it) featuring more of that.